Oh well! I seem to that a lot these days. I find it easier to hold my hands high and surrender. Makes me happier in some ways. As someone once scorned and looked at us all and went, ''Stay happy, you ignorant fools!'' An ignorant fool? Am I really or is it someone I chose to be. I see myself in that someone who said that but then I also think, it's just me who is an ignorant fool. Questions! questions! more questions! Are we going to ask them questions that scare me? Will I find truth in my defiance? I am fed up! I surrender. Did I not say that already? I am happy. Very happy. I wish my Shiva was just as happy. Oh! but wait. Super Sumi has a plan for her. She will be all well. Tell you what? She WILL be all well. I won't surrender. But what of them other people I love so very much? Ashish thanks me for giving him 'Sad Eyes' and I feel miserable. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. And I am feeling fine again. I feel I am growing old. I am growing old, this very minute. My words become muffled, my vision becomes distorted. I am fixated to/in? this space. Anyhow, I am fixated! There are these screaming words in my head! Them words that must be said. ~Them words that must be heard and they shout out loud to me and this afternoon, they say more clearly than ever before. They say, I am a dreaming tree. A tree that grows old,doesn't move just grows. I am a tree for I do not move. I am tree for I watch people the people around me, move. I am tree that dreams as I watch everyone else, foools? no, not fools, just people. I am the dreaming tree!
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