This isn't Goodbye

Life!! A word that I find myself using so very often and making no exception I start this with the same.I Guess that's how life is with it's mindboggling mysteries and the million games that it plays with you? and it's gazillion riddles which none can solve... Wasn't it my dream to go to a land far far away? and now thatat my dream is getting realised I wonder why I don't feel so good about it?! Why does my heart feel so so heavy? Why do I feel like I am dying?! Maybe because I am dying..dying to be born again..like a phoenix, perhaps :) Huh!! and as I leave, I give you nothing but I take soo much from you..I take memories..many many beautiful memories of the times we spent together..time when we laughed together..time when we cried together..time when we sung so many songs together..time when we cooked together...time when we did crazy things together..time when we talked for hours about things that made aboslutely no sense at all..time which I wouldn't think twice about reliving if given a chance..I take YOU with me..maybe that is why my heart feels soo heavy because I carry all of you in my heart..I love you for being the friend that you have been to me. All the times you were there when I needed you, you taught me so much. So, I take you all with me and all the lessons I learnt from you. Never ever was a day grey with you were around. Smile and sunshine you brought into my life all year round. That is why my heart feels so heavy. and heavier with all the comfort you give me and heavier with the love. Only if you weren't as generous maybe it wud be easy to go to this land far far away. But I would say thank you for being there always..but then again right now thank you seems like such a small word. Funny isn't it? We will be soo far yet, somehow closer. Funnier still I say you'll be closer and that I take you with me..Yet, these tears wont stop when I think of all the times we spent together. They say dere is no end or no last time..but every time I do something, I ask myself is this the last time?? Irony..is that what this is?? but I done want to say goodbye because i never do.. Quoting Affirmation..."this isn't goodbye..even if u watch me leave"..this is just later gators!! love you loads.. Dated: till eternity..and beyond that!