I dreamt a dream, some 7 years ago. The dream was simple. I wanted to write a book. Haha I think it was longer than that that we dreamt that dream where Gurleen and Me, decided to write a book about our ooh very exciting lives, we were going to call it, “Biography and autobiography- by Gurleen and Sumira”. I started writing it as well, but the chapters have now, well, dissipated. Varun thought that I’d make it big one day and got me started some 6 years ago. Wow! It has been six years since I’ve been writing, not all that much, but yeah, my thoughts are being miraculously saved somewhere in this world of the world wide web and attic as it is, one that I’d dust off the dirt from there and find perhaps, beautiful antiques in some of them. And even if they remain unlocked for centuries, I guess it would be okay, because today, if I sit and reminisce all the years that have gone by, I know that there is lovely melange of laughter, music, dancing, crazy dancing and magic there, even if there was some pain there, even if there were some sad sad eyes, I know that we still have a lot of laughter left in all of us. The bones, even if they sound rustic, aren’t old. There is a lot of life left even if some of the smiles are some of the eyes aren’t around anymore. There are a lot of days lefts. That’s what we all live for, isn’t it? The smiles!

All it takes is that one moment. That tiny moment where in where the dots, by some unforeseen, unknown magic, connect and before you know it, it’s all squares marked with your initials. 
Just like that. 
So connected and yet so oblivious to the emptiness that envelops your very being. Living oxymorons, I shake a leg to the sad sad words. The regulars blind you with their sheen, all it is, is them, all that it seems to be, will be them. Everybody wants to be special here but the regulars over shine them by miles! Sipping the smiling words, I don’t know what they say, but it makes me smile. 
I smile. 
It’s all happening! It’s really happening, all the magic, right here before my eyes. I don’t know what happy is anymore, but neither do I know sad. Tis not needed, not anymore. I guess, this is it! Peace. 
The strings, the chill, the grunge, the sweet sweet melody and I am drowning. I choose it now. I chose not to swim, not to breathe, not to strive so hard. I chose no words. Peace is all mine now and all it takes is that one moment. 

Ladies and Gents (certainly not Gentlemen! That is a dinosaur and we are now living in the age of the ‘cool’). What was I saying again?

Yes!

Ladies and Gents and as I say/write it down, I imagine myself stood, high up on a podium with millions of eyes (your eyes) mesmerized by the words that flow out of my mouth. Only these words like tiny people in a helicopter, that flows over your head and from the inside of these copters, these people wave at you but don’ see them. All it is, is the copter flying with some magic dust. The machinery, oh so magnificent, oh so grand and oh! it flies!! Peaople? Which people? 

There was this one time when I was sipping my cup of tea (yes! These days I drink tea, daily-ish) I thought about that little girl who jumped out of the window, a helicopter in her own way, a helicopter that crash landed! The pain! The remorse! The rubbish! 

Rain has changed sides, au jourd'hui. It's brought me this happy feeling evening.Actuality, a word I discovered, I really liked. I like it because, it makes me believe like something is happening. Always happening . Like machinery, even though I don't like machines too much, but TODAY, it fascinates me. I imagine the hinges, the dials moving about in constant zigzags, horizontals, verticals, and circles, never ending, all so very geometrical. Fascinating indeed.All of it so musical. It's very musical, all of it, in my head. Besides, I always like it when there is music in my head. I had seemed to have lost it for a while but TODAY, I can hear it little whispers. Very distant but it is there and it's comforting. Had you asked me two days back, I would've said that the whisper would die into nothingness but TODAY, I am sure it snow down into a blizzard, a musical blizzard. I like blizzards, A twisty twirly burst of snow and right in the middle of all the confusion there is you. THERE IS YOU!!!!!! and INDEED it is ALL very very beautiful.A voice in my head, very misleading, lost itself, but set out to guide me to the deserts of Azure. A real wild child gone astray, rolled into a cigarette and smoked into whiffs of several dying hearts, out to change the world they didn't believe in. A million strings of wonder, maniacal geniuses who ended at 28 but the whispers never stopped, like machinery, mechanically, chemically, thermally, electrically powered and frequently motorized. A following the word of the lizard king himself, even I shall turn of the lights when the music's over. Yeah.

 While trying to keep up with the ticking hands, I have left so much baggage behind. Probably, it was never needed but every now and then, like teeny tiny time machines, little blasts from the pasts, flash before my possibly blinding eyes. Watching from a distance was becoming boring and my calf muscles forever complaining for some exercise. Without a thought, just like that, I am now running along side with them. I didn’t belong, I still don’t.  Probably. And maybe it’s just on the outside it is me as them, on the inside, I mock what have now become, my foolish ways. Somehow, it’s all better this way. If the pretty white doves are mine now, I wouldn’t know, for sometimes, I still sit up and hope with my all might that this clock would somehow stop ticking. A thought that must must not be voiced for so many reasons. He screams when I do. Nerds that once rocked had met my lips, now, it’s all brinjals. I used to be pretty, now, I am all ugly. I can not lie, not on a piece of paper, there is NO guilt. Why? It IS wrong.

That monster, who I’d sit and watch is now becoming me. Oh! Mirror mirror on the wall, who is it that speaks to me from within you. All those screams, oh! so faint, what do they say? Oh! The pain clouds his face again. And the same old promise that is broken each day is made, once again. A stale beginning has been anchored to the very same point. How can it all be so different and yet feel so familiar?

After all that I have done, why do I still dream of swimming in murky waters? Where does it all end? Why doesn’t it all end?

A change in that punctuation mark, is it asking too much? 

The Captains of the Hook!

ONCE upon a time, in a land far far away there lived a vicious monster, an evil beast, size, well it's about the gargantuan. His heart beat would be audible for miles.
Tick Tick Tick Tick Tick!!
I say, FUCK that!!
The land of the hooded school girls and porridge eating bears is probably now having a nice dinner party with the dinosaurs. In fact, with only a little glimpse to it's first chapter, the story of the Captains of the Hook has only just begun.

Craig, Hudstin and Siddharth, names that ring a bell?! (if you are hearing bells in the middle of nowhere, m'dear sirs/madams you are going pyscho and if not, it is one of those bells you DO want to hear, fucked indeed!!) Moving back to a world of "unbracketed words" the names are familiar, the faces need getting familiarising and that too, QUICK!!

Playing bartenders, they will serve you Galaxies in Coffee Mugs, wearing a chef's hat, they cook y a platter of Fairytales. What comes next, is not yet known but I'd suggest you have all eyes out on them.
Vintage to some, mordorun (read: brand new) to the others, these boys have grown with invention in their hearts. Growing still, they've found their magic beans and now they are all set to take us all up the beanstalk this time.


Galaxies in Coffee Mugs

So then, this world is a world of wonder. Very similar sounding words, wonder and world, but it throws this odd blend of concontions at you that you don't know what to expect next. I looked at my coffee mug and found galaxies. Galaxies that were juggling playfully about. Sip it! Sip it! and you're two inches tall, A tiny fetus out to discover aliens that hold their hands out to you promising peace amalgamated with an odd merriment of dancing about through the narrows passages of a maze. Never neverland is never too far. The war has been long fought and the hooks have been long discplined. The Captains have arisen after 3.24. What was masked as an end rose again as a giant. I bet I'd see a clockwork rabbit next. The coffees, the mugs and the galaxies. Hello Alice. You were missed!!

Lost deep in thought, thinking of nothing really at all. Your head,immobile against the window. The only life you feel, is that the music that floats around you, the music that floats in you. The world seems to move about perfectly normal yet it doesn't register. The umbilical cord that bound you to the word lost it traces ages ago and today you're only a cuckoo. The wishes that seemed to be whispering warnings in hushed tones today don't seem to matter any more. Nothing does!
You lie very still in the pool of your own blood. Nothing stirs within and outside of you except the hushed tones which are now probably screaming the movie that plays in your head. Johnny cut his throat open but no one heard anything he had to say. That's not how I . . That's not how I . . die. Seeing angels that you don't believe in. None that will come to your rescue. Seeing silver shinny horses running at you in all directions but these don't exist. The tale will never be sung. The movie will never be understood. The mind will never stop dressing up. Today it's dressed as a giant pig. The giant pig that grunts in mock laughter at what you have become. The giant pig that decides your future and feeds off the pity you have for yourself. That enjoys the froth that forms around it's mouth.
There are daisies spread across many many miles . But these daisies shine such darkness. You sit there gazing at nothingness that lies deep within your heart while you're looking at others banging their heads against the wall. Over and over again. The blades of cool breeze dig in your skin. Waiting.