As a person, yes, I have changed. For one, the great magnetic pull that I used to feel towards everything and nothing at the same time, has disappeared. I was once Homer, my naked ears being tortured by the sirens sweetly singing, and now, Now the thoughts don’t form words. Perhaps, because there are no thoughts.  I have wanted to matter, for a really long time and now, perhaps, I do matter, only, it doesn’t really matter to me. Like a tambourine, sniffing the whiffs of the voodoo frills, wearing engulfing smiles that are drowning every gaze that an ensnared eye would throw on them. Whether they’re themselves anymore, I do not know. If those are Dave Mathews’ dreaming trees, the ones that I can see, the ones that a tiny part of me wants to be, I wouldn’t know. They seem to be swaying, dancing to melodious rhythms of what deafening sounds, but they don’t seem to care. Yes, I want to be them. Swaying tall, swaying tall to the beat of indifference. Perhaps, I am already one of them. Haze, ah! The one thing that has been a constant in my life. 

I dreamt a dream, some 7 years ago. The dream was simple. I wanted to write a book. Haha I think it was longer than that that we dreamt that dream where Gurleen and Me, decided to write a book about our ooh very exciting lives, we were going to call it, “Biography and autobiography- by Gurleen and Sumira”. I started writing it as well, but the chapters have now, well, dissipated. Varun thought that I’d make it big one day and got me started some 6 years ago. Wow! It has been six years since I’ve been writing, not all that much, but yeah, my thoughts are being miraculously saved somewhere in this world of the world wide web and attic as it is, one that I’d dust off the dirt from there and find perhaps, beautiful antiques in some of them. And even if they remain unlocked for centuries, I guess it would be okay, because today, if I sit and reminisce all the years that have gone by, I know that there is lovely melange of laughter, music, dancing, crazy dancing and magic there, even if there was some pain there, even if there were some sad sad eyes, I know that we still have a lot of laughter left in all of us. The bones, even if they sound rustic, aren’t old. There is a lot of life left even if some of the smiles are some of the eyes aren’t around anymore. There are a lot of days lefts. That’s what we all live for, isn’t it? The smiles!

All it takes is that one moment. That tiny moment where in where the dots, by some unforeseen, unknown magic, connect and before you know it, it’s all squares marked with your initials. 
Just like that. 
So connected and yet so oblivious to the emptiness that envelops your very being. Living oxymorons, I shake a leg to the sad sad words. The regulars blind you with their sheen, all it is, is them, all that it seems to be, will be them. Everybody wants to be special here but the regulars over shine them by miles! Sipping the smiling words, I don’t know what they say, but it makes me smile. 
I smile. 
It’s all happening! It’s really happening, all the magic, right here before my eyes. I don’t know what happy is anymore, but neither do I know sad. Tis not needed, not anymore. I guess, this is it! Peace. 
The strings, the chill, the grunge, the sweet sweet melody and I am drowning. I choose it now. I chose not to swim, not to breathe, not to strive so hard. I chose no words. Peace is all mine now and all it takes is that one moment.